a place with all and no power at all

vibra o som do sol queimando o silêncio ao redor
com o incinerador cimento reduzindo a cinzas o sujeito
que alguma vez pensou-se livre, acha-se hoje cremado,
vermelho lúgubre derramando luz laranja como fonte de lava

esclarecendo-se passa, embora, o tempo e assombra-se 

pelas mudanças por si mesmo causadas, maldito Cronos

e seu tempo fora do tempo, vida eterna porém tão mortífera

vida sem vida, passando, rendida, como escombros

de uma velha igreja gótica enchida de arlequines vermelhos

e virgens de verdes e amarelos dourados, velho luxo sem brilho

em duas dimensões não se distingue o verdadeiro nível da mentira

e foge como baixo-relevo dos limites da de ser pedra o dançarino

que se acha deus ou homem, que se acha livre e pensa que pode

por si mesmo seu destino decidir, morre, à mercê de todo além

The Burial of the Dead from TS Elliot's The Waste Land

—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,

Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not

Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither

Living nor dead, and I knew nothing. 

Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

 From, The Waste Land

by TS Elliot

What can be said of anything when beauty is all that takes up space in my mind as I splurge my time in thinking? Writing and reading in a café where half the people work and the other half spend their time doing something that will somehow make them better. This constant bettering and the necessity to always constantly improve bewitched me from the moment I realize it runs our lives. Its best expression being the need to be content. The fear of being unhappy is but another part of it, which composes apparently a human right - and has turned into a human obligation. The pursuit of happiness is nothing but a way to take off the possibility and the respectability of being sad and miserable. Yet it is this sadness and misery the only thing that enables the ability to know what happiness and any semblance of joy. I offer you a smile besmirched by reality, the uncontainable impulse to implode, to believe in existence through existentialism. It is through the ugly that we can see and re-define the beautiful.  

10000 feet up in the air

1. Single serving, a creation, an invention or just a very acute observation?

2. Placid, sitting in this crammed place; its a flying tube! A grand total 32 hours. Halleluyah.

3. Peacefull – full of peace – ephedrine. Visual, Auditive, Scented Ephedrine.

4. Blue and silver, the horizontal lines that make you think the place is larger than it actually is.

5. 3hrs and 42 minutes approximate flight time.

6. The plane takes off, and I repeat the prayer, the food prayer that is, because it is the only one that pops into my head at this rate.

1. There's too much beauty in this world, its unconceiveable how little of that is part of my life.

2. If randomness was a gift if would come wrapped in smiles.

3. If we all want the same thing from life, why don't we work together?

4. Why am I always running around? I hope i'm not running from something

Thoughts from not being able to post in a while...

1. Life gets too cluttered, and some people like it like that

2. I Still don't get why people like all the clutter

3. Life's to beautiful, and Freedom too precious, and some people too vane

4. I do love that feeling of Nostalgia - a lil bit too much - i doubt its good

5. I do love writing... gotta write more

6. It seems to me that my wishes never come true, always kinda get second best. Why?

7. I know everyone probably feels #6 applies to them

8. I like eating, i still haven't eaten all day long

9. Please don't let me get too old before I have children.

10. Definitely need to get out of Westwood soon.

Thoughts from "Nada" by Carmen Laforet

1. ... Life can be a cold place

2. ... Post-civil war Spain must have been disastrous.

3. ... Love can be such a fickle thing.

4. ... Sometimes the lies we believe are more real than the truths that we ignore.

5. ... There are grotesque sights in life - do they attract or dissuade us?

6. ... There are only two effects of a person on another: good or bad. Which am I?

7. ... Time doesn't make a difference on things that aren't under its influence.

8. ... Hunger can be a horrible thing.

9. ... Is it better to cheat yourself or to cheat others for your errors?

10 ... Sometimes secrets can be worse than a dog with scabies sniffing trash in an alley.

thoughts from the leftover pieces of a broken heart...

1. ... this is the most difficult jiggsaw puzzle i have ever tried.

2. ... if a heart was like any food, it would be like an egg. Once broken, it will never again come together.

3. ... a chimichanga makes it much harder to pump blood through.

4. ... seriously, i'm probably one of the most simple organs; all i do is pump blood.

5. ... why is a heart drawn in a "heart" shape if it doesn't look like that... at all?

6. ... if you know what you're getting into, did you break your own heart?

7. ... seriously, a heart doesn't think. Its all in your own messed up head.

8. ... i wonder if a heart can really feel...

9. ... seriously, being broken hurts like hell. Do you want me to break you?